Ode to the bathroom counter and late mornings

I’m usually in a rush in the mornings

you see, why get up fifteen minutes earlier

when I can wake up now and sit

on my phone for another thirty minutes

snooze through three more alarms

rub my eyes blearily with fifteen minutes left 

before homeroom starts? 

‍

I’ve learned the perfect technique 

to get myself up in the mornings (note: 

this is after the snoozing): 

splash icy water over my face

scream (softly) at the cold (so the neighbors don’t hear)

wince slightly when the entire counter ends up being wet 

Brush my teeth

rinse 

watch as green colgate loops down the drain 

turn off the lights, then 

Run 

Eat breakfast 

Continue chewing as I run with an m&m 

falling nearly out of my mouth 

back to the bathroom where the day started

The counter’s still wet but that’s okay 

spread out all the fancy products 

Balance a palette on the faucet and three brushes 

between two hands 

quickly smear on some moisturizer 

and whatever (probably irritating) 

product I’m using my skin as a 

test subject for this week 

spend way too long on the eyes 

(because I can’t blend for my life)

Dash out of the bathroom at 8:14

still on time. 

Phew. 

I’ll clean up the counter later… 

(Note: I do not clean up the counter later.)