Boss: a word normally used to describe somebody who runs or dictates a company or branch of work. However, in video games, it has a whole different meaning. A boss can range from a larger version of a smaller enemy, or a new god attempting to rule the world and bring everybody to their knees. Since it would be really bad for you as the hero to lose and send the world into an age of darkness and despair, I, Vyde Feral, Lord and master of shadows, shall give you a foolproof plan to slay all your boss-like enemies. From the smallest little dinosaur to the most treacherous fiends that lie dormant at the darkest trench of the sea these tips will help.
Step 1: Blind run
Every boss is different, and unless you’re playing the game on easy mode, you’re not beating a boss on the first try. So, I’d recommend what we in the gaming community call a “blind run.” A blind run has two meanings. One meaning is playing a video game you’ve never played before, blindly. The other is running head first into the boss, just to see how far you can get without dying. The goal is to try and figure out weak points, patterns, and anything else that could help you in the fight. In almost every game I’ve played, each boss has some kind of trigger. A trigger is a movement that they do right before a certain attack, whether blinking their eyes or raising their weapon. Those triggers are what you want to study, and it may take you a bit to study every attack. You may have to do a couple of blind runs before you can move on to step two, but just remember to blind run and trigger-hunt.
Step 2: Research
Now that you’ve memorized the patterns and triggers that your boss will be playing with, it’s time to move on to research! Research can stem from looking at some kind of player notes in game, or conducting research using a website of sorts. What you want to look for is anything that may help you during the fight. This could be a lot of things such as finding a specific item that negates an effect the boss has, or some kind of secret weak point that isn’t normally shown in the fight. It will most likely differ from boss to boss. However, there is one thing you want to stay away from, it’s called cheesing. Cheesing (yes I know it sounds silly) is a tactic used to cheat the boss. It could be something like hitting the boss from where it can’t reach you. Not only will these tactics make you a cheater, you will be frowned upon by other gamers and you won’t be able to fully experience the fight. The people who thrive at cheesing bosses… those… those are trolls. Think of them as gamers that we don’t like to acknowledge. Aside from that, Lets move on to step three!
Step 3: Preparation
This is typically the longest and or hardest part. Now that you know what you need, it’s time to actually go get it. Depending on the game this could either mean a simple trip to the shop or an overly-long side quest that makes you go all the way to the other side of the map, just to find another quest that ends up being longer than the main story line! Not to mention that said quest has a 99.99% chance that it has a boss harder than the one you’re already dealing with, so then you have to go on another quest to beat that boss just for the cycle to repeat. Oh… my apologies, it appears I have gotten a bit ahead of myself. As I was saying, just make sure that the quest you need isn’t one that sends you to some secret area that should be unlo — hm? I’m doing it again. Sorry. Here are some ancient sources for your research:
Step 4: Fight
This is it. This is what you’ve been waiting for. It’s time to fight. You have everything you need, and I cannot help you much longer. Just remember what I taught you, and you’ll be alright. In a fight, you’ll need bravery, determination, and perseverance, because the second you give up the game wins. Get out there and fight!
My time with you as your shadow companion is almost up, so I pray that you at least have some recollection of what I’ve taught you, and that the spirits are with you. Good luck, and I hope that one day we shall see each other out in the field. Or, maybe I will have the pleasure of being part of your legendary tale. Good luck, hero.