Thinking makes me feel

Entry 1

As always, the evening time reminds me a lot about everything like life, emotions, friends, people, nature, and everything around me. It was not exactly evening time, it was the midpoint between afternoon and evening. I was set up in my kitchen looking at a fruit tree in my garden. 

At that time there was a bird coming and it started to eat the fruit. I can’t explain the moment. It was awesome. In the meantime, I thought about how much freedom they have. The bird doesn’t need to get permission to go anywhere to eat anything, to do anything. For example, they eat fruit from my garden but they don’t need to get permission from me or us. That makes me think “that is the beauty of nature.” But if I want to do anything I need to get permission, if I want to go anywhere I need money. And I also understand the difference between humans and animals. When I see the bird I always think and wonder “if I had the wings” what would happen? It would be a chance to go around the world and see the beauty of nature. It’s ridiculous though, but natural beauty always helps me get to my emotions because it helps me to think about how God created the world with a lot of beauty. 

But humans ruined natural beauty for any reason or without any reason. They cut trees to build luxurious buildings for businesses to make the world look nice. But in my opinion, I think nothing is more beautiful than nature. For our everyday life, we need accommodations, for example, we need trees to get Oxygen. My request is for everyone to know that if you cut one tree please try to plant another tree. It will help us to live with the beauty around us. And also don’t murder the birds, think about freedom. At the end of the day we need enough oxygen to live, we want to see the birds which will remind us of our freedom. “CAN WE KEEP ALL OF THESE AROUND US?” 

Entry 2

The loneliness of a man can be understood by looking at her/his helplessness. I was in the 9th-grade, it was a rainy afternoon. I was going to see my grandmother, getting there in a CNG vehicle. I went to the village where there were no cars, the only vehicles were CNG and Rickshaw. The CNG was running in the middle road of the paddy field. The fresh air came and refreshed my body. I was fascinated to see the lean paddy fields.

After 40 minutes I arrived at my grandma’s house. She was sitting in a chair. Her face filled with a smile when she saw me. I was there for two hours. At this time it started to rain very hard. I ate with her, and talked with her, she hugged me, she put her hand on my head and prayed for me. The two hours passed very quickly.

After the rain stopped I was ready to go back to where I was from. I was only in town for my studies. For my studies, I had to come back. When I was leaving my grandma’s house, my grandma was crying. She did not cry very loudly but tears were flowing from her eyes. I cried too. It was sincere love. Farewell is always hard. I was back on the same road. But the situation was different. When I was coming I saw the beauty of nature and was fascinated but on the way back I cried the whole time. The same fresh air was heavy to me. At this point, I was thinking that my grandma was really alone. I have a lot of friends but old people don’t. But in their childhood or young age, they had some. But at some point in life, they are alone. No one has a little time to give to the old people of their house. But every human being will one day grow old and enjoy the pain of loneliness. Still, I can’t forget how it was. I miss my grandma a lot. I want to tell you “I Love you and miss you.” You are giving a shadow of us. I pray for you, and may God bless you and give you long life and you give us the shadow as always.

Entry 3

A person who has unconditional love, care, sacrifices, suffering, support, encouragement, is my mom. My mom is a person who shows the definition of love for people. When I was very little, I remember that if someone wanted something from her she was going to try her best to give them what they wanted from her. She is still doing that. She always says there is more joy in giving than in receiving. She is a great cook. She can cook all kinds of Bengali food. She does all the work alone in my house. Sometimes I try to help her. For some reason sometimes I can’t. My mom loves me a lot. Her love is not expressed in language. I want to tell my mom that if without knowing I hurt you, please forgive me. I am so sorry that sometimes I can’t help you for many reasons but I love you so much. I understand your love for me. And I love you so much.

Just not my mom but all of the moms doing those kinds of things for their children. But the children don’t care about that. But we have to understand that our moms give us life. She does all her suffering just for her children. For all of the children including me, I want to tell them that: “When a mother gets tired, try your best to help them, not just give them the minimum. Try to give them time, find a moment that she can share her emotions with you, some words that she has inside of her. Every person has some words that they can’t tell. Mom is a friend who never cheats you. Her expectation is that her children will always remember her and that she is their mom. She just wants her child’s love. But the fact is that for our busyness we forget that our mom needs love, care, time, and some wishes from us. Just imagine how much you love your children, our mom does the same thing for us. So, my request for all children is to please give love to your mom. Can we do this? 

Entry 4

Some stuff around me encourages me, they make me feel something from my heart. One of them is a lamp post next to my house. I see it every day from my house but it does not usually make me feel anything. But one night it did. It was my vacation time. It was a rainy night. I just ate my dinner and went back to my bedroom. My bedroom was beside the road so I saw the lamp post from my room. I went to close my window and started looking at the lamp post. There was one boy who stood under the lamp post and cried aloud in the rain. 

I did not know the reason for crying. But I know that people can cry if they want to and that’s all. I heard him say “why is this happening to me, why do I suffer, why can’t I?” People cry when they have a lot of trouble and their emotions are working. At this point, I was thinking about how he suffered and why he crying. But the surprising thing for me was why he chose to cry at the lamp post. Maybe he thought the lamp post was a perfect place for his crying so no one can know about his pain. Rain removed his tears so maybe no one else saw them. 

It makes me think that If I’m a lamp post I could know people’s pains. Maybe the lamp post knows more people’s pain or troubles. And not to mention the rain, how many people are suffering, how many people’s tears are removed by the rain. There are thousands of people whose troubles we don’t know, there are tears that we don’t know but they fall out of our eyes at random moments of the night.

Sanjida Surovi