The garden

I would pick up the pieces of glass on the floor

Telling myself that I couldn’t take it anymore

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Why would you do this to me?

Why couldn’t you let me be free?

Screaming till’ my lungs cave

I was digging my own grave

Being asphyxiated, to say the least

My tears slowly drowning me

Curling into a ball

I’ve never felt so small

I wanted to tell you that I couldn’t breathe

I wanted to tell you that I couldn’t see

I wanted to tell you so bad that even you wouldn’t believe

Is this really me?

The world spinning

My head’s tilting

What’s happening?

Brushing my hands through the flowers

I could sit here for hours

I kept walking, enjoying the floral scent that wafted through my nose

Watching the butterflies go

Passing the different versions I saw

Different states I’ve seen

Different emotions I’ve felt

The copies of me

Stopping my bare feet from moving further

I glance at each of me, young & old

Past & present

Is this really me?

Peering into a dark corner, the charcoal & ruby red stained grass, nothing but weeds, a cold feeling run down my spine

The echoing of my own toxic words spilling into my brain

The sound of glass shattering

What have I done?

The soft grass below my feet, seeing a gate in front

The endless possibilities

Was I ready?

Was this it?

Gripping the locket around my neck

I yanked it from its place

Placing the key & twisting

The light blinding me

I sat up through my tears

Fighting myself despite my fears

Like I would do so many times these past few years

I could see my future, so bright & clear