Cindy Tran’s Failure Resume
Phone number: 617 – NotBitter – AtAll
I go to a school where they say failure is not a reflection of your self-worth but everyone is scared to hell and back of anything that isn’t a success. Courseload includes APs that I don’t like and classes that I thought would make college admissions counselors happy.
- Receiving rejection emails and not responding.
- I may be petty but at least I have some dignity.
- Using the same cover letter for 20 different jobs because efficiency is all I have.
- Creating three-page resumes because my qualifications don’t fit on one page.
- Giving up on things that don’t come to me easily because I was gifted as a child and am painfully aware of my mediocre-ness as an almost-adult.
Rejection from [REDACTED] Magazine – Writer (June 2020 – Never)
- My mentor worked here so I thought I would get in.
- I didn’t get in.
- I was bitter and sent an email asking why I wasn’t selected.
- The editor-in-chief wrote back and told me my writing wasn’t a good fit.
- I didn’t respond.
- I cried that night and vowed that I would never write again.
- Now I get paid to write.
Rejection from [REDACTED] Magazine – Editorial Assistant (August 2020 – Never)
- This was the first cover letter I ever wrote.
- I never got an official email but I saw that someone on LinkedIn had recently updated their profile with the position.
- I unfollowed them on Instagram and blocked their website on my browser.
- I know society is all about ‘every man for himself,’ but you can’t even write a generic “you didn’t get the job” email to someone after they spend two hours on a cover letter and another three polishing their resume and LinkedIn?
- I wouldn’t have liked working with people who didn’t appreciate the efforts of others anyway.
Rejection from [REDACTED] Magazine – Managing Editor (August 2020 – Never)
- They said that I was qualified but they found someone who “vibed” with them better.
- “No hard feelings,” they said, and offered me a writing position.
- I had some very hard feelings.
- I rejected their offer and started my own magazine.
Rejection from [REDACTED] Magazine – Writing Submissions (September 2020, December 2020, January 2020, and forever until I write in a style that isn’t my own)
- Honestly, it’s my fault for realizing that they didn’t like my writing style.
- This one’s on me.
Rejection from [REDACTED] University – Student (March 2021 – Never)
- Okay, so this one stung a bit.
- Remember what I said about my allergy to failure?
- Well, this one stung.
- A lot.
- I dreamed of going to school in New York.
- You know, skyscrapers, sunsets above penthouses, leisure walks down Fifth Avenue. Brooklyn brownstones, the Strand Bookstore, the whole New Yorker aesthetic that overtook my vision boards on Pinterest.
- Girls in brown blazers and trousers that fit, tote bags with groceries.
- Expensive coffee from Starbucks, Doc Martens clunking down streets, spring picnics in Central, and melted chocolates snuck into the MoMA.
- Busy nights, busier mornings, everyone chasing down the next train, taxi, or Uber with the destination their single-minded focus.
- I wanted that.
- I wanted that so badly.
- Now, I am rewriting my dreams with what waits for me in Boston.
Awards and Recognition
Taking Rejections Way Too Personally
- Awarded by: Cindy’s Emotional Vulnerability
- Awarded for: Receiving rejections like they’re a personal attack and not just a reminder that her skills are not necessarily as primed as they should be–also, she doesn’t even have a high school degree yet.
Being Surprised Every Time She Gets A Rejection
- Awarded by: The Gods of Rejection
- Awarded for: Receiving rejections pretty regularly but still making the same Surprised Pikachu face whenever a rejection email lands in her inbox.
Comparing Herself to People Every Step of the Way
- Awarded by: A Very Unstable Self-Esteem
- Awarded for: Constantly beating herself up whenever she sees what her peers are accomplishing, then feeling like a terrible person because she should be proud of them but all she can hear is her very unstable self-esteem saying that she should be working, saying she’s not good enough, saying she needs to work harder.
Vulnerability and the Essence of Failure
- Awarded by: A slowly but surely growing sense of self-assuredness
- Awarded for: Writing this resume and reflecting on painful times of the past. She’s really grown since her first rejection. Crippling self-doubt is always around the corner, but by confronting her fears head-on, she has become a stronger person. She is realizing that with each setback, she works twice as hard to become a better person. (She thinks that perhaps in the near future, that she will become someone she’s proud of.)