The COVID-19 pandemic has caused distress throughout the world. I have many restless nights, tossing and turning around in the comfort of my tattered, worn-out sheets only to be found with the anxiety about this situation that consumes me whole. My mental health has only been getting worse, not being able to get out of my bed for simple necessities like food. No schoolwork has been completed because I feel like there is no point anymore. Every time I try to complete a piece of work, I break down until there’s a lump in my throat preventing the tears from falling onto the scratched up, wooden desk.
During this time, mental health concerns are reaching their peak as many people are facing the reality of depression. There’s this monster that follows you around constantly, breathing down your neck every second of the day. It’s like chains are digging into my pale, wintery complexion, the cold metal slamming me down onto the floor until I’m on my knees and I can’t get up. Finding out school was closed for the rest of the year made my heartbreak — the thought of not seeing my friends for such a long time made me feel like someone just punched me right in the gut. My friends are people I can rely on for the so-called happiness I desire.
My parents have been struggling with money since they’re both self-employed. My mom can’t find any work as she’s a house cleaner and everyone is petrified about this virus. My dad, on the other hand, works day and night as a house painter. It isn’t so easy and he exhausts himself to provide for his family. It makes me sad to see them struggle so I try to help out as much as I can, offering to pay for my own things with the money I received from Teens in Print.
My mind has become blank and hazy. The only thing I can think of is how much of a failure I probably am to my teachers and parents for not completing my work. It’s hard to be committed to something as important as homework when your mental health is getting in the way and preventing you from being the only thing you want to be in life, successful and noticeable. The fear of being forgotten or away from the people I love hurts the most. Spending time with yourself is rather difficult, you get to know yourself more, the positives and the negatives. You reflect on all of the bad decisions you’ve made in life and what you could’ve done better.
COVID-19 has had an impact on all of us, the old and the young. It has separated us from the people we hold close to our hearts, longing for the days when you can finally hear the sweet lullaby of their voice in real life, not just on an electronic device that can only do so much. Standing 6 feet from each other and not being able to dive into the warmth of a hug from your loved one is difficult.
Diving into the depths of this virus, you have to be mentally and physically aware. You have to be prepared to not spend time with your loved ones who you hold so dearly. You have to be prepared for the rising cases, and for someone you know to maybe have the virus. Death is something you have to be prepared for because everywhere you look, people are dying.
If you can find something that brightens up your day for a few milliseconds, you’ve won. During these times we need to look forward and see the positive outcomes. We can’t dwell in the past because, at the end of the day, the past is something that digs us deeper into the hole.
There are few things that make the corners of my lips curl into a gentle and warm smile. The smell of the dew that clouds the air in the morning, the small water droplets sitting perfectly on the emerald green leaves. Or how the golden, glistening sun shines through the cracks of the blinds, landing on my tired, droopy eyes. But, one thing I look forward to every day, no matter if I can hear the pitter patters that the rain echoes, is my cat. His tuxedo-like pattern trailing up his soft and warm body always makes my heart flutter with glee. The long, milky white whiskers that poke out just a bit too much. Or how his long torso wobbles from side to side, making him look like a goofball. He always seems to cheer up my mood, knowing I have this small companion by my side every day for the rest of my life. It’s ironic, his name is Lucifer but he’s the sweetest thing you’ll ever meet, to me, at least. I love him with all of me and that’ll never change.