Empathy is the ability to recognize, understand, or share personal feelings/ thoughts with another person and see from their point of view. Being able to understand and feel for others is a skill that helps people succeed whereas most fail. So why is everyone so mean nowadays?
Admittedly, I was no better growing up. As a kid, I was rebellious, and looking back, I could have behaved myself better. As I matured to be more understanding, I realized… not everyone developed the same. My peers, who I saw as nothing short of amazing, seemed to go through drastic changes after quarantine. And this wasn’t your typical teenager going through puberty, it was something much different.
The Pandemic
Gen Z (1997-2012) has seen some of history’s biggest changes. Struck by the Covid-19 pandemic, financial crises, on-going wars, and educational interruptions, it was extremely difficult for us to navigate a world that seemed to flip overnight. We had no time to prepare for these big changes. Two weeks of quarantine turned into months, then to years, and by the time life came back to normal, the changes in our behavior were hard to ignore.
Deprived of social interaction for so long, we naturally struggle with understanding and feeling empathic for others, which in turn, heavily stunted my generation’s growth. Social distancing and quarantine made me realize how much we took common courtesies for granted. Simple gestures like, shaking hands, smiling, and giving compliments, rarely happen nowadays. I mean, think about it; social distancing meant little to no physical face-to-face interaction and visual cues like smiling were quite literally masked.
A cognitive study performed by the psychology department of the University of Campania Luigi Vanvitelli sampled 69 students through Google Forms, showing some unexpected discoveries. This study tested the main types of empathy found within us: Cognitive, Emotional, and Compassionate empathy… or to put in simpler words: Understanding, Feeling, and Helping. Results showed that after a year, empathic social skills, such as the ability to share, understand, and respond appropriately to the emotions of others, were impacted negatively. On the other hand, skills like perspective taking and emotional empathy (for one’s own feelings) increased. Researchers concluded that the increase in certain types of empathy was our bodies’ way of helping us cope with the things happening around us.
The study only measured one year’s worth of change in empathy. With the results given, it’s safe to assume that our empathic social skills only continued to decline due prolonged periods of isolation. This applies to teens specifically since our social and emotional skills were still developing. “Many teens lost opportunities to engage in daily peer interactions that are foundational for building emotional attunement and social confidence,” says triple board certified and licensed Clinical and Forensic Neuropsychologist, Judy Ho Gavazza, during her interview with Parents magazine.
In the end, we didn’t choose to lose the ability to feel or respond properly to others, rather, it was our body’s way of protecting us from the chaos of the outside world.
Technology
Technology played a huge role in this generation’s upbringing. Unlike the generations before us, we grew up around things like iPhones, computers, and social media. And even before quarantine, we already had access to so many different types of technology. Covid only amplified our usage of technology to an almost extreme level.
While technology makes our lives easier, it deprives us of that social interaction we were already lacking. It’s easier to text someone on the screen than talk one-to-one in real life, which is why eighty eight percent of teens text their friends occasionally, and half do so daily. The issue with texting is that we can not tell tone through text. Get this: If I were to look sad or uncomfortable, the person I was talking to wouldn’t be able to tell through text, unless I specifically said something was wrong. As Cambridge neuropsychologist Simon Baron-Cohen writes, “empathy requires the reading of emotions, and that this can be mostly accomplished by looking at people’s eyes.” How can we do that when most of us prefer to use texting as a way of communication?
Social Media
Social media has played one of the biggest roles when it comes to the decline of empathy in Gen-Z youth. Most online spaces are riddled with toxicity, hate, and plain nasty individuals. Being around negativity makes you almost numb to it and influences you to do the same. Negative emotions are more likely to be shared. People are so quick to call others out for the smallest of things. It feels like you’re constantly being picked apart for having an opinion someone else doesn’t like.
X (formally known as Twitter) is a prime example of what a toxic online platform could look like. The negativity on that platform is almost unmeasurable to any other. I asked a friend who still uses the app to describe X, she said “There’s a lot of nationalism on Twitter, especially from Israel. They’ll go out and say what [the country] is doing is good when it really isn’t. I mean, how is bombing innocent people a good thing?” X has a long record of critical tweets known to cause emotional distress or anxiety. I feel like people just don’t care because it’s entertaining or it makes them feel “morally superior” to others for having what they see as “correct” answers to complex issues.
Furthermore, Facebook was called out in 2021 for the same reasons. I highly suggest taking a read at CBS new’s, “Whistleblower: Facebook is misleading the public on progress against hate speech, violence, misinformation” or Harvard Business School’s “Outrage Spreads Faster on Twitter: Evidence from 44 News Outlets” for more articles about big social media apps capitalizing off our fear.
Our Future
As part of Gen-Z, I have a lot of mixed opinions when it comes to the future of this society. I’m not sure we’ll ever return to how we used to be, but there’s still things we can do as a society to help improve the quality of life for all of us.
We can all be a bit nicer to each other, more understanding, and more willing to lend a helping hand to those who need it. And we can achieve that by:
- Establish boundaries with friends, family or people you meet.
- Go outside more
- Talk to new people!
- Limit your social media usage.
- Communicate when something bothers you. Never ignore something that makes you uncomfortable!
- Surround yourself with a supportive community who loves you unconditionally.
- Volunteer at animal shelters or soup kitchens.
- Practice seeing the world from other people’s perspectives. Immerse yourself in their culture.
- Incorporate listening training. Pay attention when someone is talking, avoid judging, and ask questions when you don’t understand.
At the end of the day, having empathy and being understanding, starts with being able to understand yourself. Do something that makes you happy and makes you feel heard. Never ignore negativity, even if it’s coming from someone you saw as a friend. I think we can all be a little nicer to each other. Who knows, maybe your random compliment could make someone’s day!
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