Does anyone really care if you spill water all over yourself?
Spilling water on yourself is embarrassing. What’s even more embarrassing is you think that everyone else thinks you had an accident and wet yourself. I hope that hasn’t happened to you, but it probably has. It’s okay, I won’t judge. Nobody probably even cared. People rarely focus that much on others, yet you still believe that they’re judging you. You know it’s just paranoia, yet the feeling does not go away. This judgment you feel, is the spotlight effect. A genetically beneficial anxiety experience, which eats you from the inside when you spill water on yourself. The spotlight effect creates unnecessary anxiety in modern day, and this is everything you need to know about it.
The spotlight effect
It affects everyone, whether intentionally or unintentionally. It’s always been how our brain is wired, through fight or flight. The amygdala is responsible for all of this; it’s what creates the fight or flight response, and it’s what causes all this fear we feel. We immediately notice our mistakes and suddenly notice our surroundings, triggering our response. It makes us self-conscious, making us believe everyone is watching us, and giving us the urge to flee. We all know that not everyone is watching us, yet we feel paranoid. The amygdala becomes active when you experience these kinds of embarrassing moments, creating solipsism. Solipsism comes from two Latin words, “solus” meaning alone, and “-ipse” meaning self. Solipsism is thinking of only yourself. You get this feeling of being in the center of everything, like your mind is narrowing. This is our survival response.
The genetic benefit
The spotlight effect has always existed, ever since we were hunters and gatherers. This is not a new concept; it’s always been in our biology. It’s why our ancestors were able to survive and pass on their genes. They used to try to perform certain ways in order to get socially accepted into tribes and survive. That’s why these genes survived, because those who were worried about social acceptance were able to join tribes, therefore survive, and pass on their genes. But those who could not be accepted by tribes died, never passing on those genes. This is evolutionary genetics, which shows how natural selection and adaptation have helped us. Biology is an incredible thing, as organisms have mutations to help them survive and live longer. We have benefited from this social anxiety mutation, which is why we exist today. Through natural selection, we have survived for longer and created a vast history as social creatures. This anxiety used to be good, as it allowed us to form strong relationships and fend for our survival. Now that we are no longer struggling to survive every day, this anxiety we feel is no longer helpful; instead, it is troublesome.
Anxiety is tiring
This anxiety is tiring. From picking your outfit, to trying to appease others, every decision you make in public, you feel judgment, though there is rarely real public judgment. Most people do not notice what you do. The reason for feeling this judgment comes from the amygdala, but it also comes from social anxiety. Today, social anxiety has become a major problem among my generation. Through advancements in social media technology, we’re able to connect with people from different places, and we’ve been able to communicate across continents in real time for our whole lives. It’s the most advanced we’ve been in the past centuries, yet social media has also created problems, with social anxiety being the most prevalent. Social anxiety is a big thing; it can make the spotlight effect so much worse, amplifying the feeling to the point you’re unable to think. Social anxiety creates the spotlight effect, making you feel as if everyone’s eyes are on you. It makes us overestimate how much people are actually seeing us.
Self help
Struggling with social anxiety is difficult, and there are many ways to get help. CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) is one of the best solutions to social anxiety. It teaches you to change negative habits, like believing everyone is watching you, into more positive ones, helping you to figure out how to regulate your emotions better. CBT is a short term thing, as it does focus on specific problems and working to fix them. It’s not like talk therapy you might see on T.V. It offers a way to change the present and sets you up for the future. This therapy can be expensive, which is why you can also learn to help yourself. There’s many methods of self help, and not all of them might work for you. One of the most common methods of self help requires commitment. It is identifying what you need help with, realizing repetitive behaviors, and learning to slowly change them into something less negative. This self-help method takes time, and it can be extremely slow, over the course of years, but it will get better!